Not Again
by Dimensional Phaser
Summary: What was Merlin's reason behind Jim's troll form? How was he so sure that he wouldn't make it in his human form? Well because he lived it once, and he couldn't lose him again…not again.


Hey all! So, i sincerely apologies for not updating my other stories like, at all. i have an _incredibly_ heavy semester at college and work which leaves me with waning sleep as it is...yeah, let's not even go into how much sleep debt i got, but i ended up writing this story between classes when i had a couple minutes, which is something i can't do with my other stories.

But anyway, this story is kinda a sequel to "Merlin's Champion" but can easily be read as a stand alone. Apologies for the rehashing of MC but in trying to explain why, especially though Merlin's eyes, it just came out that way-more of his thoughts on the whole situation. Also! in MC, Merlin was so... _Merlin_. he was more of _Mer_ lin and Merlin from Dis. Sword in the Stone so i tried to write this in a way that could potentially explain the, uh, differences.

But enough of this! Enjoy!

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 **Toby** found Merlin sitting on the couch in the Lake residence not even an hour after the Eternal Night Battle. He looked tired, face tight and eyes shut. His armor didn't make a noise but it moved with his deep breaths; Toby could tell, however, that he wasn't actually asleep.

He just stared at the man for several minutes, lost in thought until Merlin finally spoke, "What is on you mind, _child_? Or do you simply like watching old men sleep?"

"You weren't asleep." He answered flatly, almost harshly—well he _was_ tired from the battle.

Merlin opened an eye, "No, I've done enough of that for a few centuries. Now, unless you have a pressing problem, I'd like to be left alone."

Toby snorted and crossed his arms, "Okay, I do have a pressing problem then."

Merlin lifted his head, not really believing him, "What is it then? You cat stuck in a tree? I'll have you know I'm not Percival."

Toby rolled his eyes, "No, I want to know why. _Why_ did you turn Jimbo into a troll when we were doing fine, great even, with him being _human_? We defeated everyone that came against us. Bular, Angor Rot, numerous changelings. What is your problem?"

Hurt flashed through Merlin's eyes, "You could hardly begin to understand."

Toby sat down on the adjoining couch, "Then explain it to me, 'cause I sure as heck would like to know."

He sighed, "Very well then…

"When I woke, and saw him standing over me—well I must say he startled me greatly **.** Enough for me to inhale air to scream but ended up choking on those dang cobwebs, really, where _did_ those come from? Pests, those arachnids are. But back to _him_. After I finish startling the both of us I took his appearance in. I felt my magic on him, he was the Trollhunter, that was plainly obvious—I didn't need eyes for that! But, what my eyes did see, was a _human_. In reality, this should have been impossible. I myself had essentially cursed the thing to live underground with the trolls. It was never supposed to be wielded by a human again-"

"Again? What do you mean again?" Toby interrupted.

Merlin frowned, "This isn't something I care to dwell on, _boy_. If you wish to interrupt I have no need to tell you _why_."

Barbara glared at the wizard as she entered the room, grabbing a chair, "Oh no,"

Merlin turned his head, an ashamed blush flushed his face before he covered it up, "Wonderful to see you Doctor Lake."

"The feeling isn't so mutual."

The, changeling stood behind her, not quite glaring at him but certainly watching him closely. "Please, continue. I too would like to know why you would torment young Atlas like that."

Merlin felt a growl begin to rise but stuffed it, it would not do well to anger _his_ mother's lover and, ugh, mentor. But he didn't stop himself from making his reply curt, "Well then, if you're _through_ with the interruptions?

"There is something that none of you realized, something that died with Deya and with Gunmar and Morgan's imprisonment. When I made the Amulet, I didn't make it for trolls. No, they were an idea of Morgana's to attack Camelot—at least, the ones know as Gum-Gums. Ha, I never imagined at the time what would become of it but I made it for a human, the first Trollhunter—Arthur Pendragon. I, made it into the strongest weapon—maybe even for today's standards. Arthur work alongside Deya to battle the Gum-Gums but," his fists clenched at the memory, "he fell in the Killahead Battle.

"I couldn't accept his death, he was like a son to me. He was my closest friend. I cursed the Amulet then, stripped it of most of its power and left Daylight for the trolls; until it found its rightful Hunter again, Arthur.

"I knew he had a child but, fate isn't always kind. I didn't leave anything to chance. Good thing too, his blood-line died in your last global war.

"But imagine _my surprise_ when I wake up to see a _boy_ leaning over me with _his_ Amulet."

Barbara stopped him, "Hold on. I've heard a _lot_ of crazy things about Jim in the past three months alone but…are you saying my son is King _Arthur_?!"

Merlin raised an amused brow, "Not in blood, but his spirit is his manifestation."

Strickler looked unbelieving, "There are billions of humans on this planet, wizard, I'm sure more than _one_ of them has his same characteristics."

He smirked, "And yet James is the one the Amulet called to when the Bridge was nearly complete. James was the one who was able to call forth the Eclipse Blade again. Pity he didn't learn the Dawn Blade before Eternal Night arrived—far too late now but."

Barbara put up her hands and shook them, "Hold on, so _my son_ is your supposed king, by spirit…so why in Deya's name did you _turn him into a TROLL!?_ "

Merlin lowered his eyes, "Because his humanness was his greatest weakness."

Strickler glared, "It _was_ his greatest strength."

Merlin smirk slightly, "Why do you think I left him half human?

"You have no idea the memories, the possible events that replayed over and over in my mind after I woke. I knew I couldn't let history repeat itself…I wouldn't be able to provide a second out again if he failed. You have no idea how the idea tormented me, still torments me. Even if he is but a boy now living in an unimpressive town…he is my king, and I will follow him to the grave. But I couldn't watch him die again because of my lack of ability to change something.

"I know now what went wrong at the Battle of Killahead, Arthur was human and too prone—even in _the_ armor. Nothing I could do to it could stop the Decimar blade, but if he wasn't human he could have survived. _That's_ why I did it…I couldn't watch him die again.

"When I woke up and saw him standing there, his spirit looking at me silently—I couldn't let that go unguarded again. Giving him the body of a troll, even with its weakness to light, was worth it to keep him alive."

"Harsh man."

Merlin didn't look at Toby. "I don't expect forgiveness or anything of the sort. You can hate me for the rest of your life if you so choose, but I'd do it again in less than a heartbeat. In fact, if I could, I would go back in time to change it then."

The doorframe creaked as Blinky lifted himself from its edge, "I suppose that could explain its affinity to Master Jim."

"Affinity?" Merlin blinked.

Blinky waved a dismissive hand, "Yes, yes. Trivial things, some of them. It has just always acted differently around him, I always thought that it was because it knew he was a human so protected him differently but now, I'm not so sure."

Merlin smirked, "No doubt some of the many things that would only have reacted to Arthur. Such as Eclipse, even if he hardly used its power. That would've proven vastly helpful had I had the time to learn what he knew and teach him."

The conversation carried on, sometimes going up and sometimes going down into snarls from the trolls. Jim laid his horned head softly against the back wall, listening to everything happening in the family room. He shakily drew in a breath before rushing out of the house, he needed air. The cool night air outside didn't affect him in the slightest as he ran, eventually ending up in a clearing.

He opened his hand and looked at Eclipse, staring at the blade that was once Arthur's, another _human_ Trollhunter's. He clenched his fist and it disappeared as he let out a heavy sigh. Now he was not only a Trollhunter, one of the leaders at New Trollmarket, and a boyfriend, but now he was also some kind of reincarnated king. He laughed dryly as he thought about those old legends.

Clair was defiantly Guinevere and Toby was probably Leon—always having been by his side. Aaarrrgghh! would be Percival and he could see Drawl as Gawain, loyal as ever but a real pain. But, he couldn't see Merlin as, Merlin. No, that position was for someone who guided and counseled. He could only see Blinky in that position. The thought made him smile.

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Hope this wasn't aweful, it was more of a _much_ needed stress relief for me to write


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